Diamandis is not Crash

    Surprise a new Call of Duty was announced, who cares. Moving on. So the fine-ish folks at Konami are releasing eight Metal Gear Solid games as a collection later this year, because they really had to stick it to everyone who bought the previous collection they released a bit over a year ago with half that. Nintendo will apparently not be making an appearance at the next E3, which doesn't sound very assuring of their future. The trailer for the next Bethesda-published-but-not-Bethesda-developed-game, The Evil Within is out, and it's just maybe a little bit unconventional. It's the next game from the exiled creator of the Resident Evil franchise, and here's hoping it's... y'know, better than Resident Evil tends to be lately. Also some next Microsoft console announcement on May 21st okay yeah great.

Sheer Heart Attack

     So according to a listing in the Australian ratings board, Bethesda, the guys behind stuff like Fallout 3 and Skyrim, have registered a new game. No exact confirmation on what it is yet, but if it's more Fallout then I'd be okay with that. Dead Island Riptide, the next game in the Dead Island series of 60$ ideas, has come out. Also it's less than mediocre. What a surprise. The release of Deadly Premonition: Director's Cut is pretty much upon us, and this'll be the first time the misunderstood campy Japanese Twin Peaks survival horror deal is gonna be available on PS3 in America. So that's handy, especially considering the thin releases in April.

Kristen Schaal.mp3

     So Dark Souls 2 had its first REAL footage released like the other day, and it... wasn't awful looking. Despite all the fear about it being trash, it sorta just looks like a shinier Dark Souls.With big goofy metal guts that sit on you. Yet there's still no release date. Because every good thing ever can't have a release date until people stop being excited about it. Far Cry 3 had a nifty piece of stand-alone DLC announced in the form of Blood Dragon, which is a neon soaked vision of the futuristic year of 2007. It's an entire new campaign with all the shiny trinkets people like to pay money for, so here's to that. Far Cry 3 wasn't particularly inspiring, but it was open world gameplay done really really right and this DLC has neon Godzillas so y'know. Yeah.

Video games

Sex in the Arkham City

     So Batman: Arkham Origins has been announced for thiiiis.... Octooooober? I think. It's the next game in the popular Batman: Arkham Noun series. It apparently takes place years before the previous two games, and sets up many of the prominent villains in the series. For example, you've got yeh fuggin Black Masks and yah pre-Penguin Chester Cobblepots and what have you. Oh, and Deathstroke, which I guess is to capitalize on the whole Deadpool craze Marvel has seen in recent months what with Marvel VS Capcom 3 and the announcement of the High Moon Studios Deadpool game. The kinda worrying thing about Arkham Origins is that Rocksteady, the guys behind the first two games, aren't returning to develop it. Because video games are a business and Warner Bros wanted their own guys on the case. We're gonna be seeing a lot of this game in the months leading up to its release, so y'know, hopefully it isn't a cop-out starring Bruce Willis. 

Nolan North says words sometimes.

Stop the planet of the developers I want to get off

     I interrupt my regularly scheduled schlock (shu-lok) to remember a legend. No, not Ebert, but he picked a pretty shitty time to die. I'm talking about LucasArts. Y'know, the fantastic folks behind Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, and about eight thousand Star Wars games. Even the terrible-est ones. Like Force Unleashed. But yeah the people who made Day of the Tentacle and a few other adventure game gems have been re purposed by Disney as a dev they can mold into whatever notsogreat licensed game they want. (Great). I know that for all intents and purposes they were way past their prime, I mean, they DID make Kinect Star Wars, but the next project they would be working on, 1313, had some folks pretty excited nonetheless. It's just weird, I guess, to see an industry constant like LucasArts die so suddenly. It's basically worse than 9/11.

Or something

You Wa Shock Infinite

   

     So lemme fuggin tell ya about vidya. Recently having finished Bioshock Infinite, I'm twerking on a review and absolutely love that game. I've been playing the sequel to 999 and the whole idea of flippity flopping around different timelines to get things to assist you in subsequent playthroughs (I don't even know) deal is actually really great, especially since that game has 24 endings. I decided to jump on the 2008 train and finally play Persona 4 with my recently resuscitated PS2, and all the good things people say about that game are justified. It's absolutely incredible, in terms of sound design, characters, and just story in general. From what I hear it's around 90 hours long so I'm eager to get back into it and continue. On top of that vidya mash I ordered Ni No Kuni, the Studio Ghibli RPG the day before Miyazaki retired from the company, so I'll be very excited to test that out. Bioshock review forthcoming.

This shit's popping off soon.